This is What Passes for Entertainment at My House

The Things Kids Say

Rev's had an upset stomach lately. We're talking liquid emissions.

A few days ago (Rev is on the toilet)
Rev: Mom, if I pooped a little bit in my underpants, will you be mad?
Me: No, in fact that happened once to me when I was about nine years old.
Rev: Oh, OK.

Last night (Rev is on the toilet)
Rev: Mom, when you were nine did you ever poop a little bit on the floor?
Me: ...
...
No.
Me: Did you just poop on the floor?
Rev: Yes, are you mad?
Me: No. Let's go ahead and put that floor mat in the wash, shall we?

I've been doing some extra fun laundry lately.

Taco Bell is "Filled with Sadness"

Taco Bell's front page of their website has a picture of their hot sauce and the message reads "Filled with sadness" instead of the usual cheery jokes. This is an homage to their recently passed founder, Glen Bell. It seems a little out-there to me to hijack their whole site with the news. I'm sorry the guy is dead, but when I come for cheap food, I don't expect an obituary...

Super Secret Crush Time

I visited with my dad and my stepmother and all my siblings in Borrego Springs, CA over Christmas. We had a nice time, dining, drinking, and playing outside in the beautiful weather in their golf course-facing home.

While I was outside with Rev on our first day there, I overheard their neighbor's son mentioning that he had just flown in from Portland, OR. I'll admit, I gave him the once over: he was my age, cute, and seemed pretty smart. We chit chatted for a few minutes at a time over the next couple of days.

I really really wanted to ask him for his number, but I totally chickened out. I'm not feeling so hot lately - I could stand to lose some weight and my skin was all fugly from my monthly visitor, so I wasn't going to put myself out there. Besides, I haven't really dated at all since Nos and I split up, barring the kinds of guys who look cute with beer goggles on, but are to be avoided in the light of sobriety.

Fast forward to Monday, and my stepmom sent me a text message asking if I remembered neighbor boy. Why yes, of course I did. And apparently he wants to get in touch. Wow! I haven't really felt attracted to someone in a while, so it's nice to know my spidey-senses aren't totally decayed after all. I told her it was all right to pass his mom my number to give to him. Over the last two days, I've been trying not to check my phone too much, but I caved and asked her last night if she'd sent him my info yet. And she hasn't. Aarg! The anticipation is KILLING ME.

At least I can stop fantasizing about cute boy if I know if I'm interested or not! So, psst, call me!

Spring Tease

We finally got a nice day last weekend, and Rev and I went to Seaside. We did our normal routine out there: beach time, the merry-go-round, some lunch, a couple of treats, and back to the beach. It was a lot of fun, even through it was just the two of us. She's getting so big! I love having conversations with her. Sometimes I'm amazed that I made her! She's just a great kid.

Poetry

Sometimes I crack myself up.
Written for my girl Timaree at work.
She's got this crazy thing with milk... just the mention of it makes her gag.


Peering in
To the almost empty carton
I drank
Right from it

Oops
Tipped to far
Now I have milk down my shirt

Two hours later
Scratching my chin in thought

What’s this?
Scaly flakey ooze

Feels like dried sperm
Thank goodness it’s just
MILK

Campbell's Soup At Hand

So I had a horrible surprise when I opened my lunch today. I'm trying to diet a bit, so I picked up some single-serve soups at Albertson's this weekend. This thing actually puffed a cloud of green spores at me. SO GROSS. And now I have a sore throat from inhaling it.

For the record, the seal on it is supposed to be silver, so take a close look under the red lid and maybe spin it around to check for goo before purchasing.

The Campbell's folks were awfully nice. They were super-apologetic on the phone, and I guess they're sending me stuff.

Still... BLECH!