Impossibly Positive

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Am I selfish for being so thankful that my daughter is still OK?

My mind just draws scenarios that result in her (god, demise is such a strong word... I can't even write it...) detriment? (a fair substitution, I guess.)

It's so visceral, that I just can't even deal.

Arg.

We were having a fun day today. We met Nos's coworker and his wife for a party at their Ukranian church. We stayed a lot longer than I thought we ever would... Long story short, we arrived around noon, and left around 5. Vasilly (sp?) and Maria, who were partaking of the booze (at least he was) and enjoying, came over around 9.
All of us were doing just fine, and she, usually the cautious one, actually drank a few shots.
And then he got THAT phone call.
The one you think...
And pray...
That you'll never have.
Yep, it was that one.
I don't know what really happened, except his cousin (his sister's daughter) had difficulty breathing, and then stopped. This happened in the Ukraine.
This not the only time that something like this has happened before. For some reason, I guess I breed tragedy.
Which sounds so trite.
Since it's obviously someone else's,
Tragedy, I mean.

Vasilly (again with the horrible spelling, I guess)... just came back by to pick up his wallet. His wife is buying their tickets back to the Ukraine.
These are people that JUST got back from their LONG trip out there. She's just finished her bachelor's degree... he's just gotten a promotion. Leaving the country was a big deal. Their trip was five weeks long.
I don't even know what to say.
They're crushed, and all I hope is that I can make their lives easier by maybe paying a bill??? I don't know... I just feel inadequate ( sp?) and just, i don't know... Aak~!